Before I knew I had wings

I found this letter recently—something I wrote in 2016 when I was in the depths of a struggle I didn’t fully understand. I had been battling bulimia, insomnia, and a sense of darkness that felt lodged deep in my subconscious. But even in that place, some part of me was reaching for light.

I wrote this to a stranger—someone who had been recommended to me as a healer. But reading it now, I realize I was also writing to myself. To the part of me that still believed I could be free.

I share it now, without editing or revision, to honor the voice I had then. The honesty. The hunger. The quiet, determined hope.

I didn’t know it at the time…
but I already had wings.

Hello Alicia :)

I got your contact information through Jane. She told me that she met you on a flight from Paris to LA this past week, and how impressed she was by you and the work you do.

I was wondering if I could talk to you about your work and whether hypnosis might help me. I’ve been desperately searching for relief.

I am struggling with bulimia and the compulsive behaviors I have around food. I’ve also been dealing with insomnia, which I believe contributes to my eating habits and compulsion.

But more than just healing those behaviors, I want to free myself from the deep, lingering darkness in my subconscious. Whenever I try to visualize my core energy, I’m plagued with dark images. I feel there are vines holding me down.

I believe these images stem from my past—parts of my subconscious that are asking to be released. I think hypnosis may help. I don’t expect a cure-all, but I hope it could help crack the door open. And with other tools, I can unlock the parts of me that need to be freed. My deepest desire is to rewire my brain—and most of all, to FLY.

I know this may sound a little “woo woo”—I’m actually a very practical, analytical, and logical person—but I do believe Jane mentioning you to me is a sign that I’m meant to do this work.

Would you have some time to talk with me?

I really appreciate the time you’ve already taken to read this, and I hope I’ll have the opportunity to speak with you. Have a wonderful visit with your son and a beautiful day.

Sincere warm regards,
Yong